What's that, Lassie?

Do you ever wonder what your dog would say if she could talk? Probably not, because like most dog owners you know exactly what your dog would say:

"Food! Food! Food! Friends! Walk! Happy! Smell? Ah, I see from this smell that Princess and her people were here eight hours ago, and Princess has been eating some very suspicious salami...Walk! Happy!"

But just in case you're still in the dark as to your dog's true thoughts, you can always try the LED Dog Tail Communicator, a new device that actually spells out words based on the speed of your dog's wagging tail. This device is being exhibited at the MOMA if you're curious. "With the help of technology," the website promises, your dog "can overcome evolutionary shortfalls." If our furry friends had just evolved linguistic capabilities, we wouldn't have to go to all this trouble. Dogs are so selfish, am I right?

What's next, I wonder? A self-opening bag of treats triggered by your dog's drool? How about a little doggy treadmill, so we don't have to go around walking them anymore? Now with fifteen lifelike scents!